November Newsletter

When things seemed to be bad, unwanted, not expected, they have always, always, always led me to a better place.

I chose this photo from our 1st grade El Capitan Canyon trip because despite the fear and all that I had “foreseen”, the weekend was all happiness, smiles, good people.

This is one of the hardest newsletters I had to write in a very long time, and I am writing this the day before publication.

I have been hanging in one of the most uncomfortable moments of unknown I have ever had to face, for health-related issues, and I have been riddled with terror and anxiety.

But I also have moments, like this one during which I am writing, when I have glimpses of complete trust, not that things will go how I want them to go, rather than whatever will happen I’ll have the tools to deal with them, and that maybe I can finally drop the labels ‘good’ or ‘bad’ from the dictionary of life happenings.

If I look back at the entirety of my life, I can confidently say that I have always been taken care of; I can reassuringly say that, even when things seemed to be bad, they have always, always, always led me to a place that was better and happier than the one that came before.

So I wanted to start by telling you what is going through my brain, hands, and body as I write; I am doing this to create an anchor for myself, a safe ground and a truth to keep returning to every time that impeding doom makes my entire body burn, my heart race, and my hands weak: I don’t know why things happen the way they do, but my experience has always been that “God” (whatever version or vision of a higher power or universal energy we have) moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform.